The Boyfriend School

New York: Doubleday, 1989. Q5 - A first edition (stated) hardcover book SIGNED by Sarah Bird with "Happy Reading," written on the half-title page in very good condition in very good dust jacket. Dust jacket has price clipped, tanning and light shelf wear. Book has some bumped corners, light discoloration and shelf wear. 8.5"x5.75", 339 pages. Satisfaction Guaranteed. Welcome to 4310 Caliche Drive (rear), home of Gretchen Griner, overworked, underpaid photographer for a shoestring biweekly, the Austin Grackle. The rent is due, her philandering boyfriend, Trout, is long past due, and Gretchen is ready for some major life changes. Trout must go, Gretchen knows it in her heart; she knows it in her mind; the only dissenting vote is cast by her libido. As the infrared lobotomy that is summer in Texas closes in on her, however, things only get worse. She is trapped into taking the ultimate dud assignment: a freak-show photo essay on the "Luvboree" - a romance writers' convention in Dallas. Gretchen girds her loins and lenses and reluctantly sets out to snap the "Polyester Penwomen." Expecting flounced hausfraus, Gretchen is caught off guard by Juanita Lusader, a chain-smoking Lillian Hellman look-alike, and Lizzie Potts, a bestselling former Fulbright scholar with a husband who cooks frightening Thai meals, a baby daughter too smart to talk, and a brother - the Wispy Goon - who needs a date. The two women promptly appoint themselves Gretchen's Luvboree fairy godmothers, and before our heroine can say "pastel porn for reactionary housewives," Gretchen, too, is answering the lucrative siren song of romance writing. That song leads Gretchen on a hilarious chase after the perfect First Kiss Scene, the perfect Breast-cupping Scene, the perfect Consummation Scene, and, naturally, the perfect boyfriend to star in them all. With her two fairy godmothers hovering in the wings. Gretchen cruises through Austin's sweltering dog days in her Delta 88, running from the Wispy Goon and tracking a handsome stranger in black leather. It is a quest that teaches Gretchen the kind of lessons, both funny and wise, that are offered only to those smart enough to enroll in THE BOYFRIEND SCHOOL.. Signed by Author. First Edition. Hardcover. Very Good/Very Good. 8vo - over 7¾" - 9¾" tall.