The Finding of Jasper Holt

Jasper Holt began his earthly sojourn under somewhat inauspicious conditions, given that his parents were indifferent to him, to them he didn't really exist. His anger at this cruel fate found various modes of expression, including the development of a ferocious independence whereby he did what he needed to do in accord with his personal integrity, not worrying if someone happened to misinterpret his behaviors or motivations. Given the potentially ambiguous nature of much of human experience, not giving a whit what people think can be a perilous path to take. Still, Jasper didn't care what anyone thought as he went about his business, it being enough just knowing within himself that he was a good person. Until, that is, he meant Jean Grayson, who was the most real, true, warm, and good person he had ever met. He must have her, he felt, yet simultaneously he knew that she was out of reach due to the sullied reputation that he had allowed to develop, uncorrected. Even though he knew that he couldn't have her, however, he was so touched by her very existence that he vowed to change, not only to allow the world to know what he was really like, but to make a strong and conscious effort to make them realize it. This involved not only many good acts, but also acts of supererogation, far beyond the call of duty, to the point of risking his own life. With Jean as a motivation to use his ethical potential, Jasper actually found himself more fully, which in turn allowed everyone else also to "find" him. By the time he lay on his deathbed, everyone had experienced a complete turnaround, and Jean's unwavering trust in him found joyous vindication.

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