The Miserable Mill Hardback - 2000

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to read this book because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience. If this is the case, I advise you to put this book down instantaneously, because of all the books describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest yet. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are sent to Paltryville to work in a lumber mill, and they find disaster and misfortune lurking behind every log. The pages of this book, I'm sorry to inform you, contain such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, a hypnotist, a terrible accident resulting in injury, and coupons. I have promised to write down the entire history of these three poor children, but you haven't, so if you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

A book which, I must regretfully inform you, includes:

• A Sinister Conspiracy: The orphans must uncover the connection between a strange optometrist, an eye-shaped building, and their nemesis, Count Olaf.
• Villains in Disguise: A cruel foreman and a suspiciously sweet receptionist are not what they seem, forcing the Baudelaires to see through their clever ruses.
• Resourceful Kids vs. Incompetent Adults: With only their wits--Violet's inventions, Klaus's research, and Sunny's sharp teeth--the siblings must outsmart the adults who are meant to protect them.
• Gothic Atmosphere and Dark Humor: From a lumbermill where workers are paid in coupons to a truly terrible casserole, the story finds comedy in the bleakest of circumstances.