French Lessons Paperback - 2007

Failed rock legend, pickled onion manufacturer, air hostess and euro-entrepreneur George East takes us through another eventful year of his doomed attempts to make a living out of living in rural France.

Fleeing from the Mill of the Flea with creditors in hot pursuit, our hero and his long-suffering wife arrive at a rambling manor-house on the vast and brooding stretches of the Normandy marshlands. The cunning plan is to set up a fox sanctuary, chicken farm and arts & crafts commune for the creatively challenged, but the Easts new home soon reveals its grim secrets.

A lifeline is offered by a stranger with a scheme to bring the delights of the Great British Pub to homesick expatriates. The George Inn (Sometimes) will be the first of a chain of hugely successful anglo-pubs stretching from Normandy to Nice and beyond. At least, that's the idea.

As the clock ticks towards opening time and final financial meltdown for the ultimate innocent abroad, we encounter another host of improbable - and frankly sometimes unbelievable - characters and situations. The amazing thing is that any of it is true.

Will George find fame, fortune and contentment, or has this modern Micawber taken his final drink in the Last Chance Saloon?